We had our first daughter, Payton, soon after our 3rd wedding anniversary. 25 months later, our twin boys, Hudson and Landon, were born. We had always said we wanted to have 3 children, we just didn't know God would give us #2 and #3 at the same time! We decided when they started coming in multiples, we would go ahead and STOP the baby making machine (medically speaking of course!) Not surprisingly though, about the time Payton was in 3rd grade and the boys were in 1st grade, I missed having a baby! I remember whining to Phillip, "I LOVE that we have twins, but I feel a little cheated! I wanted to get to go through all the baby stuff 3 different times, and the boy's baby stage was simultaneous!" Phillip, being the problem solver he is, immediately started talking about adoption. I loved that idea, but I knew realistically we would never be able to afford it. When I mentioned how expensive adoption was, Phillip said, "Not when you adopt through foster care!"
I remember the conversation so well. We were laying in bed, and I was stunned that after 12 years of marriage he didn't know me at all! Not at all! How could he think I would ever go for that idea! Didn't he know my tender heart? Did he really think I could bring a child into our home, fall in love with them, then risk them getting taken away from us? NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! "Absolutely Not!" I snapped. My heart could never take it!
Then, the conversation got really heated! Not heated in a good way, but in a bad way! (Since we were laying in bed, you may have wondered, but believe me....it was heated bad - not good!) LOL!!
My Godly husband had to go and bring Jesus into the conversation and that just really ticked me off!
Don't you just hate that! I'm all -
I couldn't do it!
I wouldn't take that risk!
I would be too scared of all the bad things that could happen!
I would lose my mind!
I need to be the one in charge here, because you're obviously crazy for even thinking that would be a good idea!
Phillip looked at me, "So, who should take that kind of risk?"
"There are thousands of foster kids with no home and no family. I'm thinking God would probably want us to give them a safe home and loving family where they could learn about Him, but that's just me!" Phillip's tone was so cynical...it dripped with "gotcha" sauce and annoyed me to death!
Jesus Jukes are NOT cool!
He could tell by the look on my face that I was not amused! He quickly shifted to a more serious tone, asking me a series of questions..."Don't you think God would take care of us? Don't you think He would give us strength and peace in every circumstance? Don't you think living for Him SHOULD be risky?" UGHHHHH!! Phillip was already under my skin, then he had to start being RIGHT, and that became absolutely unbearable for me to deal with!
I got short with him. I got ugly. I got insistent on going to sleep. I rolled away from him and whispered, "Goodnight. Don't forget to wear your WWJD bracelet tomorrow.", and NOTHING...I mean NOTHING got heated in a good way that night!
In an instant, God convicted me, and I'll be honest.... I'm not very nice when I am convicted to do something I DO NOT want to do! SLOWLY, God began to work in my heart, and a few years later I found myself thinking, "Mindy, you should have NEVER said NEVER!"
