My Negative Pregnancy Test

It was December.

December 2013 is when I found out K was a foster child.  I know I told you I am terrible with dates, but I actually remember this....for real!

I'll admit, I about died when Mrs. Gilpin uttered the words, "foster child."  My heart jumped in my throat and in a split second I could feel the sheer panic rising up....

It's weird how some of the same exact feelings I experienced in having our biological children, I have experienced in becoming a foster/adoptive parent.

I remember when Payton was only about six months old, and I thought I was pregnant.
I rushed to Walgreens in a panic.  All the way to the store I was thinking,  "OH MY GOSH! WHAT WILL WE DO?"
When I got back home, I peed on the stick and the result was NEGATIVE.
Immediately, I felt relieved.  WHEW!!!
Then the strangest feeling crept in...DISAPPOINTMENT!  Isn't that weird!

What caused me to be disappointed?

LOVE!

As cheesy as it sounds, babies bring with them an enormous amount of love.  No matter if they are planned or surprises, they bring love!

When Mrs. Gilpin told me K was a foster child I had that, "OH MY GOSH! WHAT WILL WE DO?" feeling.  I just knew God was about to drop a foster kid in our laps, and I was about to go into full freak-out mode!

After Mrs. Gilpin explained that K had been with her foster mom almost 3 years, I felt relieved.  That sounded pretty permanent to me!  I remember thinking, "WHEW!  God's NOT going to drop a kid in our laps!"

Then the disappointment crept in...

Disappointment because I knew we would love K and I thought she would love us too.